Showing the House

Friday, I got a text from the Realtor that she wanted to show the house Monday.  That threw me into a major panic – not that the house was in terrible shape or anything, but I’ve been going through stuff, trying to declutter for our move, and consequently the house looked as though a tornado had torn through it.

I spent the next 48 hours in full-blown, panic-cleaning mode.  It was a bit stressful, and the girls paid that price. 

I hate yelling, I’ve actually been not doing it nearly as much as I had been.  But, Friday, I lost it.  I had just straightened up the living room, walked into the kitchen, turned around and you’d never have known I’d been anywhere near the living room with the vacuum, or that I’d put all the toys away and put the couch back together.  All the cushions were off again, toys were everywhere, and food had been spilled.  And, the crayons had been tossed everywhere by Ms Piggy.  I yelled, loudly and longly. 

Yelling is like a vicious cycle. It doesn’t relieve anything, it doesn’t make anyone feel better – the yeller or the yellee, it just makes everyone miserable.  And I know this, yet I yelled anyway.  And, that yelling spawned more yelling, which spawned more yelling.  I later apologized, but it doesn’t change the fact, I yelled.

So, I’m not yelling anymore.  I’m practicing meditation to help me, going to be putting myself in my kids shoes when I feel the urge come upon me.  But, I’m not going to yell anymore.  It doesn’t accomplish anything and just makes all parties feel terrible and no-good. 

So, much more peacefully than our start had promised, I got the house clean.  I scrubbed floors, got things cleaner than they’d been when we moved in, and the four showings Monday went off without a hitch. 

And, the girls helped me keep everything clean. 

This is going to be a long journey for me, out of yelling.  But, I try to be a peaceful parent, leading rather than telling.  The stress lately has been making my temper shorter than usual, and I’ve been yelling again. 

But, no more.  No more yelling.  No more irrational, blinding anger.  No more taking out my stress on my kids.  No more.

 

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